woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
