this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
