five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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