Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize