i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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