tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
