I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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