Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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