What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
