I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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