So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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