I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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