Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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