i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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