She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
