I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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