my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
