I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
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Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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