dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
he shaved USA in his pubs
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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