Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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