That's intense
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
