wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
