I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
