I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
