The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
