I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
its liver damage thursday
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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