Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
