Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
