Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Randomize
