Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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