So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
