So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
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