You're so nebulous sometimes
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
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We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
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We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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