quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
