So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
