Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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