Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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