goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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