To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
