Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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