Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
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There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
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Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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