Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
