it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
