Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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