i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
