Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
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