tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Two words: blizzard sex
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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