don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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