I think I am morally bankrupt
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
