your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
