just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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