Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
