Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize