i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
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When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
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He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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