So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
