so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
you had me at cake vodka
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
