Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
