someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Randomize
