It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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