shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
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