He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize