shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
he thought i was a dude.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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